#ugly #awesome #superfantastic #FACE #black (Taken with instagram)
I remember a time when I was decisive. There was this radio show on NPR that I heard when I was driving back here from Dallas. They were talking about choices and what actually makes people choose things… Emotion vs. Logic or Reason (both of which are based upon society and/or past experiences). One statement made was about the fact that we have been given nearly infinite opportunities as young people, far more than what used to be available to us. The fact that we can choose from among so many avenues, in theory, should mean we have that much more freedom. But instead, we’re crippled by the stress of having to sift through all of the possibilities. Too many choices seem to take away from the so-called feeling of freedom.
However, I’m not entirely convinced that my problem is too many choices. I think I have an issue with discontentment (which, gosh-darn-it, is a sin). I’m working on my process of choosing happiness. I feel, though, that all of the fuss is totally called for! Look at the world we live in, really. It’s so infuriating to become part of a worldwide culture of total BS. I can’t imagine going into any field, because all of them are frustrating. I don’t like how people are, how systems are set up, how things are ignored that shouldn’t be, how things are canonized that shouldn’t be. It can’t be escaped in any field of work or study. As long as people are involved, good things are contaminated.
Now, I’m not claiming to be beyond these statements in any way. I am so flawed, as are the rest, but I just can’t shake the resonating truth that I don’t belong here. None of us do; this isn’t our home. I am just having an insanely difficult time figuring out what to do while I’m here. Nothing seems to be satisfying. But here I go carrying on about what would make me happy… I should remember that it’s not about me. That seems to be what the true inherent problem is, I guess. Once I figure that out, I hope choices will come more easily.
I just want to lead an uncommon life.
Anonymous asked: hi
Hey.
